The Saddest Week

Nothing is more defeating than knowing that you can't comfort the ones you love or even yourself. We lost an amazing woman last week and we are all struggling to understand. I don't have the words to describe my grief or the hopelessness I feel while staying here. I know little about what's going on. I feel deep sadness for all who loved Lindsay. We are all better people for knowing her. Lindsay, you are the angel in the sky. I know you will care for that little one in your arms and watch over all of us here. I know this isn't the last time we will be together. How I want to be home.

I don't remember much of last week other than trying to get through it. The immense frustration of everything did get to me--the crappy cell phone reception, the army ants attacking my latrine and my kitchen, the rain. . .Abe and Joel are here now and that's kept me busy.

I'm staying in town for two nights to get my head together and grieve as well as hear from family with less difficulty. I chose a hotel that I knew had good electricity and would have full reception and I can be just another mzungu. Didn't want to go to any of my sites because I didn't want people doting over me. I want to be left alone by everyone other than my family.

I'll get it together. I'll come back and finish and then I'll go home. I'll come home to Virginia and try to heal with everyone else. Please keep our families in your prayers. I'll see many of you when I return. I promise to have it together enough to finish my time here.

Take care of you all,
Amy